Can People Change? 2 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Try

Do you believe that people can change? Do you think that people can learn new skills?

So do I. I wouldn’t be in this job if I didn’t.

You also know that sometimes it can be really hard. You know the situation – you have a person who just isn’t performing or who is causing all kinds of problems. You do your best with them, but they just keep causing you problems. All your time seems to be soaked up in dealing with them or the problems they cause.

A true story about change

I used to have someone like that working for me. I remember her very well.
She meant well. (Someone once told me that was about the worst thing you could say about anyone.)

She was a small, mousy creature who looked like something out of a film made in the 1930s. I think that’s where she got her wardrobe. She was kind and considerate to all. She would bring in wonderful homemade cakes. Her bottled fruit was the stuff of legend. It was unbelievably tasty and fresh.
I must admit to being the lucky recipient of much of her excellent cookery, most of it from her own home grown fruit, vegetables and eggs.

She had a marvellous telephone manner and she thought we should bring back hanging.

“But she sounds so nice!” I hear you say. And she was. But I can’t tell you what a relief it was when she left.

The trouble was, she drove us all mad.

The rest of my team were constantly frustrated by her never-ending moaning and ability to find problems with everything. I remember one meeting on the shop floor when we were trying to implement a new inspection procedure.

Even though she had nothing to do with this process, she managed to find hundreds of reasons not to implement it. Every time we thought we had overcome one, another popped up. The harder you pushed, the worse it got.

The day she handed her notice in, I bought a bottle of Champagne. The week after she left, I got home early every day. I seemed to have nothing to do. Then it dawned on me – most of my time had been consumed dealing with Gemma.

Relief

Now I could get on with my real job: setting long-term goals, making improvements, planning and identifying our team vision. It was such a relief and so motivating.

I had put a lot of effort into dealing with Gemma, but I had failed. Yes, there had been some successes, but it was a path mostly strewn with failure. The minor successes were just enough to keep me going.

Many of my colleagues felt I had worked marvels with her. But it just wasn’t enough. She was costing us money, not adding value.

Two Important Questions About Training

This is why I always say to clients that I truly believe you can train just about anyone to do just about anything. But before you start you need to ask yourself two questions:

• Do I have the budget?
• Will they live that long?

Do I Have The Budget?
Sadly with training you always have to consider the budget. It’s always easy to keep spending just a bit more, like I did on Gemma, thinking that this time it would get me what I needed. But it never did in her case.
So you should set yourself a figure right at the start.

Will He/She Live That Long?
Sometimes they won’t. You could still be training them when they are about to get a telegram from the Queen congratulating them on the 100th birthday. Other times, that won’t be the case, and a few hours will make all the difference.

One Other Question: How much is this costing now?
Sometimes when you ask yourself this question you get a nasty shock.  One client I worked with recently went through his figures and told me that the cost was around £1,000,000. I said to him “And how long has she been here?”

She’d been there around 10 years. “So, I said, that’s about £100,000 per year.” “No, he replied. I meant she has cost us £1,000,000 THIS YEAR ALONE.”

The Difficult Person Calculator
After many requests, we have finally restored the “Difficult Person Calculator” to our website. It took a bit of time, so I do apologise for that. It had to be dug out of the old site in some clever way, but it’s here now.

You can go in and calculate how much someone is costing you.

Difficult Person Cost Calculator

Armed with that information you can then work out how much it’s worth investing to get it right.

A Word of Warning
The answer tends to be worse than you think. So make sure you are sitting down before you press the button.

For more help with difficult people get the book

"Difficult People Made Easy"

"Difficult People Made Easy"

In this straightforward easy-to-follow book you will discover:

• How to deal with bullies. 34 pages packed with real life examples of what to do and how to do it.
• Fuss-pots – those annoying detail-mad people who nit-pick all the time and can’t see the big picture. You find out how to work with them in a way that keeps your sanity.
• Cry-babies. These are the people who get easily upset at the slightest thing and burst into tears. You can’t have a reasonable conversation with them and it drives you mad. You will discover how to talk to them in a way they will understand and will work for you too.
• Ditherers – the people who just can’t decide anything and make your life hell. Then when they finally do decide, they change their minds again. If you have to deal with these you’ll find easy ways to get them to make a decision and stick to it.
• Rhinos, the people who can never take a hint because they are so thick-skinned. You will discover how to get through that tough hide of theirs.
• Pessimists, the people who are all doom and gloom and pour cold water on all your ideas. They see problems with everything and, for them the glass is always half empty, even when it’s full. You’ll find out how to motivate them and stop them moaning.
• Negotiating. You will learn the basics of effective negotiation; a key skill when you are dealing with anyone, difficult or not. Understanding this process and how it works will be an invaluable tool in all your dealings.
• Summary. At the end of each chapter is a summary of what to look out for, what to do and why it works.

You get all this and more for just £14.99