An Easy Way To Deal With A Difficult Person
Step 1: Identify what you want your difficult person to do - your objective
Think about your interactions with the individual and work out how you like them to behave.
If you are struggling with this step, think about someone else who is easy to deal with and identify what that person would do in the same situation. That should give you the information you need.
Step 2: Make it specific.
You need to state it in terms of what you want them to do, not what you don’t want them to do. So, not
‘Stop shouting at me’
instead
‘Speak to me at a normal volume.’
Step 3: Work out what to say
‘If you would like me to finish this report by Friday, please just say ‘Nancy, would you finish this report by Friday?’
Very often people have no idea how badly they are behaving. Just asking them to behave more appropriately (as above) can really make them stop and think.
Here’s another example (for an annoying ‘wet blanket’ type person):
‘When I bring an idea to you I’d like you to consider the idea and the benefits before giving me any concerns you may have.’
Or (in response to vague criticisms and insults)
‘’It would help me a great deal if you could give me a list of the specific changes you would like me to make in the document, then I will have them done by Friday.’
Step 4: Practise
Step 5: Do it
This even works on bullies
For more on specific kinds of difficult people, get my book on how to deal with difficult people:
"Difficult People Made Easy"
To find out more about a chapter, just use the link for that chapter
How to deal with bullies. 34 pages packed with real life examples of what to do and how to do it.
Fusspots. Those annoying detail-mad people who nit-pick all the time and can’t see the big picture. You find out how to work with them in a way that keeps your sanity.
Crybabies. These are the people who get easily upset at the slightest thing and burst into tears. You can’t have a reasonable conversation with them and it drives you mad. You will discover how to talk to them in a way they will understand and will work for you too.
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