Disruptive People In Your Team?

How do you deal with people who cause problems in your team? This can be a very tough issue. And it can be causing a lot more difficulty than you think.

An Old Friend
I remember a woman who worked for me years ago. We got on very well. In fact I still get Christmas cards from her over 20 years later.

We used to joke a lot and often made jokes at each other’s expense. It passed the time. Then I took over a new department and she joined it. I was very glad to have her there – someone I knew and could trust.

One day we were having a laugh and I referred to an on-going joke we often made about her nose. Like many of us, her nose used to get rather red when she had a cold and we used to call her Rudolf, almost as a nickname. She laughed.

You may feel this was cruel of me, but remember, it was an on-going situation - you haven't heard what she called me (which was also meant in good humour, I know).

A Problem
At the end of the day she called me over, and, very upset, said that she was very offended by what I had said earlier in the day about her nose.

I was completely mystified, dumbfounded and very upset to think I could have offended her so deeply. I’m ashamed to say I studiously avoided her all the following day.

At the end of that day, she called me over again. I started apologising immediately, but she told me to stop.

She then told me that she had felt really stupid as soon as she had complained. She said she had laughed at the time and had thought no more of it. Then another member of the team (who was not part of the old team) started saying how mean I was and what a horrible thing to say.

By the end of the day, after hours of this, she was so upset that she felt she had to say something. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she regretted it and felt she should now apologise. I was almost in tears with relief.

But I kept my eye on the other team member. Sure enough she tried the same thing again.

What Can You Do?
You have to stamp on this kind of behaviour at a very early stage. I didn’t do it soon enough, but learned my lesson.

I was on the look out for any disruptive behaviour from then on.

For more help with difficult people go here

Set Clear Standards
You need to set very clear standards of behaviour. That is you need to identify how you expect people in your team to behave in specific situations. This can be quite hard, but the effort is worth it.

It’s worth identifying specific areas where you expect these standards to be met:

Honesty
You can give examples of things you expect people to do. They can be phrased as “In situation X we do Y”

For example:
If we are unhappy with something that someone in the team has said/done, we ask that person what happened and what their reasons for doing it were.

If we notice any kind of financial irregularity (incorrect expenses, for example) we first approach the individual concerned and point out what we have noticed and ask them what happened. We then explain to the manager what has happened.

Neglect
In one department where I worked a new team member joined and, at the tea break I saw her sitting on her own in the canteen, while others in the team, who should have known better, sat laughing and joking at another table.

I remember gathering the team leaders together and asking them how they would have felt if they had joined a new company and been left on their own during their first tea break.

This led to a new standard of hospitality in the department. There had been no intentional neglect, just thoughtlessness.

For more help with difficult people go here.

Sometimes It’s More Serious
In the first case I described, it was rather different. The woman mentioned thought she should have had my job and was trying to show that I was no good at every opportunity. I had to keep careful records and jump on any bad behaviour the minute I suspected it.

There were several times when I brought standards of behaviour to the attention of the whole group. It wasn’t always easy, but tackling it every time meant that I was able to build a really good team that worked together well.

The key was to have very clear standards and to make sure everyone stuck to them.

For tips on how to deal with difficult people on workshops and training courses – 3 Easy Ways to Deal With Difficult People On Workshops

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