The 18 Dirty Words You Can't Say in Objectives (That Everyone Says Anyway)

Remember comedian George Carlin's classic routine "The 7 Words You Can't Say on Television"?  Well, if you don't remember it, I'm sorry, I'm certainly not going to print a transcript here. And if you do remember it, you'll know WHY I'm not going to reprint it here. But I know you'll find my list of 18 Dirty Words You Can't Say in Objectives...and how to eliminate them...helpful in writing clear, effective objectives fast...

In his classic routing "7 Words You Can't Say on Television", George Carlin had a lot of fun with "dirty words". And even 30+ years after he first performed that routine, some of those words really punch you in the face when you hear them on the TV.

But today, I want to warn you about a group of "dirty words" that do exactly the opposite of what Carlin's words do when they are used in your objectives.

These dirty words don't shock or offend or make you take notice.

These dirty words make your objectives weak, unclear and focus the objectives on "doing" rather than "achieving". And they are certainly not in SMART objectives or goals.

Ok, just like Carlin, I'm going to say them as fast as I can. Ready...

• Effective communication
• Interactive discussions
• Share best practice
• Seek
• Understand
• Familiarise
• Keep up to date
• Robust
• Fair
• Review
• Work with
• Gather information
• Oversee
• Attend
• Where possible
• Input
• Follow up
• Timely

Are you asleep yet?

My "Dirty Words" Stink Test

The fastest way for me to tell if a set of objectives stinks is to scan them for these dirty words. For me it's like taking a whiff of a carton of milk before drinking. I don't need to drink the whole carton to tell if it's gone sour. If I see these weak, corporate, hazy, tired words and phrases, I know it's time to trash the carton and buy a new one.

What To Do When You See These DIRTY Words in Your Objectives...

-Ask questions, Clarify and then Rewrite the objective.

Let's take a few examples and look at what you can do when you see them:

Dirty Word: Robust

Example Phrase: Set up a robust process

Questions for Manager: How will you know if a solution is "robust"? Can You describe a solution that was NOT "robust"?

New Objective: Set a process that requires only two hours of maintenance per month.

Dirty Words: Work with (see also: liaise with; support)

Example Phrase: Work with John Smith on the XFRI project.

Questions for Manager:

• What will John Smith's contribution be and how is it different to the contribution of the person they are "working with"?
• What would not happen if you were not there?
• How would you know if you'd done a great job?
• How would the people you are working with know if you'd done a great job?
• What would the difference be if you did a really bad job?

New objective: Ensure that John Smith has the information he needs about our competitors' services in order to come up with a service that will sell £1m in the next year.

Dirty Word: Understand

(remember, the only real way to measure if someone understands something is to ask "HAVE THEY DONE IT?" I can UNDERSTAND quadratic equations until the cows come home, but if I've never SOLVED one, are you really convinced I understand them?)

Example Phrase: Understand the new purchase order system.

Questions for Manager: Why does the individual need to understand this? What is it they need to be able to DO?

New Objective: Be able to input orders into the new purchase order system and find orders that are late or have not been paid for.

Questions are the Key to Eliminating Dirty Words

For each of these words, the key is asking questions to work out what you really need to achieve.

SMART objectives

You'll find more examples and questions to ask in my booklet

"How to Write Objectives That Work"
 
In my booklet you'll discover the answers to these common objective-writing questions...

• What is the fastest step-by-step method for writing objectives?
• How do I make them measurable?
• How do I make them specific?
• How do I make them SMART?
• What phrases should I avoid and what should I write instead?

Plus, you get...

• Examples of difficult-to-write objectives including "people" objectives, development objectives and Health and Safety objectives
• How to write objectives for meetings
• The 7 most common mistakes and how to resolve them

Get "How To Write Objectives That Work" Now


To your continued success


Nancy Slessenger